Who is the boss?

"Who is the boss?" This has been a question that has been asked alot here in our house. It seems my 3 year old has suddenly decided she is 13 and feels it is perfectly acceptable to do what she wants when she wants and however she wants to do it.
True conversation:
Me: Gracie, bring this (a plastic tupperware thing) to Daddy in the kitchen please."
Grace: no response, throws the plastic tupperware across the room, and look at me as if to say..."So, what'cha going to do about it?"
Me: Gracie, go pick it up and give it to daddy or I will have to help you obey with a spanking.
Grace: No.
Spank #1...crying follows
Me: Gracie, go pick it up and give it to daddy (mind you...daddy is maybe 5 feet away).
Grace: Mom...I said no. (accompanied by an eye roll)
Spank #2
(At this point, Daddy even steps a little closer to her)
Me: Gracie, pick it up and give it to your daddy...now!
Grace: (still crying) Noooooo (At this point, I expect to see small horns pop out of her head and fire shoot out of her mouth aimed right for me.)
Spank #3
Me: Gracie, obey mommy and bring this to daddy or you will get another spanking.
Gracie: I SAID NO!!
Spank #4
Me: You keep saying no...you keep getting a spanking. Do you want another one?
FINALLY, the tupperware is placed in Dad's hand. FOUR swats to the butt people- over a stinking piece of tupperware!!! My 3 year old child thinks she rules the roost around here suddenly. My mom said that is exactly how I was...but I don't believe it for a second! :)

Quotes from Gracie:
"Daddy, I am mad at mommy. She is not obeying me!"
"I am a grown up. You need to obey me."
"I am the boss."
(For anyone reading this who thinks spanking is horrendous, please know that the spankings she receives are not the result of one of us flying off the handle and hitting her in a adult version of a temper tantrum. She gets 1 firm swat on her behind...enough to sting and get her attention but nothing over the top....it is really her pride that is hurt more than anything. So, please don't comment to me about how spankings are terrible. I have read up on it, and feel confident in the decision we have made to use what I consider to be a Biblical tool in a calm manner.)

Hence, the title of the post. I have to remind her on a regular basis now that she is in fact, not the boss. Pray for this child as she doesn't know what she is getting ready to come up against...a mommy who is exhausted from the constant power-trip of her 3 year old. We are going to attempt to nip this in the bud. I am pretty dang sure that Gracie is what Dr. Dobson referred to as a "strong-willed child." I love her for it....I really do. I love that she has strong ideas about what she wants and that she can convey those wants pretty well. I don't love that she thinks she doesn't need to obey us unless she feels like it. A man in our church once told me that the trick with a strong-willed child is to mold her little spirit without breaking it. God made Gracie with a strong spirit for a reason and I do not want to squelch that. That is my prayer for Gracie in this stage of the game...that we would firmly and gently mold her little heart to recognize authority and delight in obedience while still maintaining her unique personality. It's a good thing my God is a BIG God who can do BIG things!